All parents are well-intentioned when it comes to their kids. You want to give them the best resources, send them to the best schools and help them secure their future. However, in the process, you could lose real connection with them. You compare them with other kids and want them to achieve the same goals without realising your child has unique skills and ambitions. You unconsciously pass on your stress, making them feel inadequate. Some parents have unrealistic expectations and overlook their child’s interests. We say this with utmost sympathy that we understand. However, we are also confident that your relationship with your child can change for good.

Let 2024 be the start of a new beginning. We have a few ideas to help you foster a better relationship with your teenager. It will also help them feel at ease amidst the immense academic and peer pressure they are constantly under. 

Learn something new

When was the last time you took lessons to learn something new? Most of us don’t keep up with the arduous process of learning as we reach our 40s and 50s. We forget that learning is hard. Your teenagers are learning something new every day. When not in school, they are picking up on social and emotional skills. They are going through all this while their body is changing and the brain is rewiring.

When you go back to learning, you start empathising with your kids and naturally go easy on them. Your conversations will change from questioning their performance to providing solutions and helping them. You can start with something as simple as learning a musical instrument or a language. Picking up an activity your child also enjoys will allow you to spend quality time together. 

Also Read: Open The Doors To Conversation With Your Teenager

See beyond grades

All parents want their kids to score well in exams. We understand you want your kids to do well academically, but grades are not the only reflection of your teenager’s abilities. 

It may be worth your time to evaluate why your child is not doing well academically or has shown a decline. At times, parents pressure their kids to take subjects despite their interests. Some teenagers are compared to their brighter siblings at home, and this constant comparison takes a toll on them. Some kids do not learn because our education system does not offer practical applications of concepts. 

As a parent, when you start analysing the problem, you will be in a much better situation to offer the right solution. Looking for resources outside of the classroom can enhance their learning by manifold. At times, you only have to come to terms with the fact that your teenager does not fit into the mould of your expectations.

In the end, remember that academic grades are important but not the only determinant in raising a teenager with a well-rounded character. 

Also Read: Fostering Resilience In Teenagers

Listen more

As your children become teenagers, they develop opinions and interests. They no longer want to be given instructions only. They want to be heard. We have seen several families where the relationship becomes sour because the parent doesn’t want to listen.

You may have more experience and may want to protect your kids. However, your children need to go through struggles and challenges to develop the same wisdom. Secondly, there is a good chance that your constant instructions are falling on deaf ears. 

When you make a conscious effort to have conversations where you listen more than you talk, your relationship with your teenager will automatically improve. Your teenager will also trust you more with their problems.

Also Read: My daughter does not want to study Maths. What should I do?

Be mindful of what you are passing on to them

Are you constantly spending time on your phone and expect your teenager to be watchful of their social media addiction? Well, it doesn’t work that way. 

Parents have to be mindful of what they are passing on to their kids. For instance, a lot of parents do not create boundaries between their professional and personal lives. As a result, their stress from work gets passed on to their kids. Your teenagers follow your lead, and all parents necessarily have to walk to the talk. 

There is no substitute for quality time

There is no comparison to giving your undivided attention and quality time to your teenager. Most of us lead hectic lives and are either thinking about work or doing it while having conversations with our kids. When you are not attentive, you miss out on essential details, and your teenager feels ignored.

The best way to do this is to form small rituals to spend quality and meaningful time to strengthen your bond.

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